by Lisa Willard, PE

In the Dale Carnegie Training book “Make Yourself Unforgettable”, one of the chapters is devoted to patience, defining it as “the ability to wait without experiencing anger, anxiety, or frustration.” One thing I find interesting about patience is that it is something over which I have complete control. No one else can make me impatient; someone else’s actions may lead to me being impatient, but I have the ability to define my attitude, and can choose to be patient in the situation.

As an example, someone may not return a call promptly, and I need information from that person before I can proceed with something I’m working on. If I choose to be impatient, I waste time and mental energy being upset, not to mention the fact that I might eventually “blow up” at the person by phone or in an email. If I choose to be patient, I can refocus my mind and time on another project or task, taking advantage of that time to get other things done. In addition, I avoid a confrontation with the person that might affect our relationship.

As a young professional, I made a reservation for a non-smoking room at a hotel, and when I arrived at the hotel (at earlier than normal check in time), there were no non-smoking rooms available. My first instinct was to react with frustration – after all, I had made a reservation (has everyone seen the Seinfeld clip where Jerry arrives to pick up his rental car, but there are no cars left?). My boss quickly pulled me aside, and asked if, based on my attitude, I thought the front desk staff was going to be willing to help me get a non-smoking room? I realized that he was right – I needed to exhibit patience in this situation. If I were willing to wait an hour or two, a non-smoking room would likely be available. I returned to the front desk, apologized for my behavior, and agreed to wait for a few hours. I ended up with a non-smoking room, and rest of the trip went smoothly.

I learned a powerful lesson that day, one that has served me well over the years. People appreciate when others do not react with impatience (anger, anxiety, frustration), and are typically more willing to be helpful in that situation. What are some situations where you have seen patience (or impatience) exhibited, and what was the outcome in those situations? Let us know in the comments below!